Blogging Failure

I started this blog to keep track of my Lenten fast because I knew something important would happen.  My Greek Orthodox friend Cliff, upon hearing about my fast, gave me an excellent little devotional called The Lenten Spring by Thomas Hopko.  These are the opening words:

"The lenten spring shines forth,
the flower of repentance!
Let us cleanse ourselves from all evil,
crying out to the Giver of Light:
'Glory to you, O Lover of Man!'

"The Church welcomes the lenten spring with a spirit of exultation.  She greets the time of repentence with the extectancy and ehtusiasm of a child entering into a new and exciting experience.  The tone of the church services is one of brightness and light.  The words are a clarion call to a spiritual contest, the invitation to a spiritual adventure, the summons to a spiritual feat.  There is nothing gloomy here, nothing dark or remorseful, masochistic or morbid, anxious or hysterical, pietistic or sentimental."

This groundwork is essential.  People of God are urged into reflection and repentence by joy, but I am amazed by how easily darker language creeps into the endeavor to make it seem like slavery.  Especially now that I write this over a month after Easter, I agree the word to describe the lenten spring is exultation.  However, the time was not without gloom, darkness, remorse, anxiety, sentiment, and even an episode or two of hysterics.

I once read about a Sufi master who taught, "One has achieved wisdom when he experiences immediate joy when sudden disappointment hits."  I'm still working on the "immediate" part, but I learned this lenten spring that sorrow is, in the long run, an occasion for greater joy.

I couldn't keep up with this blog because there was too much to write about in too little time.  I think I will still be trying to figure out my lenten spring of 2011 ten years from now.  To write about it contemporaneously was impossible - blogs are so up-to-the-minute.  I couldn't serve as both journalist and sojourner, at least not at the same time.  I decided the latter was more important.

I began with a total fast (only water) at sundown the night before Ash Wednesday.  Not 40 minutes after dark, I had already had two powerful "chance" encounters with old friends (in the middle of Hollywood Blvd, no less) and been forced to dredge up love and forgiveness that was humbling and convicting.  That first week, old and forgotten friends flooded into my life through the floorboards, taking me on a Scrooge-esque tour of my life's friendships and allowing me to re-open sealed chambers so the Holy Spirit could rush through them with a swift, cleansing breeze.  It was frankly rather shocking, and Hopko's words "invitation to a spiritual adventure" began to ring loud and clear.

It was a spiritual birthday to say the least - I celebrated leaving one age for a new one, complete with new temptations, greater responsibilities, and greater power to serve and love the Lord than I ever imagined.  I hope I will be able to re-cap the experience so none of it will be lost.